If you are easily offended, possibly a hard left
liberal and do not enjoy laughing…let this be your warning, we advise stopping
here. Lisa’s gloves are coming off this
year ya’ll!!!!!!
How did we get here?!?!?! Did you see the back of the Christmas/New Year’s Eve Card?!?!? Holy Crap! (As Clark says, “Mom, we don’t say that word.”) Right, but ladies and gentlemen we have a GRADUATED Juris Doctor en la casa!! Just goes to show, you are NEVER too old to follow your dreams, start a new adventure, or do an about-face with your career.
So, the whole graduation thing inevitably leads you
to asking the question, “John’s finished.
Where are the Ortega crazies going to land?!?!?” Unfortunately, the bill board from God has
not exactly shown up with the checked box of, A. Move Home to Texas, B. Stay Near Family, 3. Go Totally Crazy and
Move to San Francisco or New York.
However, we are continuing to keep the faith, and know God has got
this. Hello, God, are you there
buddy?!?!? The problem with two people who make all of
their life decisions on what we “think” God wants us to do can be paralyzing when
his signs, the wind, and the pit in your stomach are not giving you any
guidance WHATSOEVER!?!?!? In the midst
of silence, we are called to remain faithful and complete this current Leap of
Faith. Hopefully, by March we will be
able to fill you in the next Ortega adventure.
In the meantime, John is tempted to sell every material possession,
achieving the minimalist/Japanese style home he has always dreamt of. Lisa still wants to adopt 10 babies from
around the world. Who knows…you might
just see us moving overseas with a mission’s organization. No seriously…I wouldn’t put it past us right
now! ;-)
Grandma and Grandpa V. celebrated 40 years of
surviving together on the farm in August!!
The kids adore time spent there, especially the occasional 1x1 week with
the Grands. Amazing how much quieter the
house is with only 2 littles. Unfortunately,
we lost a dear Vilhauer family member this year. This is someone with whom many important
conversations were held; requests for first dates, pregnancy announcements, important
cattle business and so much more. Mom
texted several family members a few weeks ago, “Due to too many telemarketing
calls, 229-5544 will no longer be a working number.” GASP!?!?!?!?
For those of you whom have also lost your childhood phone numbers, you
know the deep pain this has caused the family.
Brother Lance has requested that in lieu of flowers, you place a quarter
in a pay phone if you can find one. Lisa
has started a GoFundMe account to save 229-5544 by transferring our family
member to a cell phone. Loren, the
family historian, has begun the task of documenting the cherished
conversations. Lastly, our childhood
friends and family are in deep mourning because it was the last phone number we
all had memorized. Who are we going to
collect call now?!?!? Oh right, we have
an attorney in the family now. Ya’ll
might want to memorize Ortega’s cell…JUST IN CASE of course! :-/
The Ortega
Crazies:
John (The
Graduate): Spent a semester at Boston University where
the LLM program in Banking and Finance Law is #1 in the WORLD. Met a bunch of amazing individuals from
around the globe whom are leading banks, stock exchanges and so much more. Rewarded his wife with a night in Fargo to
see Bill Maher live!?!?! She is still
having nightmares. John’s rationale, “We
need to understand how the enemy thinks!” Coached back to back Malpractice Bowl
Champions using the Baylor shotgun offense and shutting out the med school 26-0. In the words of Nicki Minaj, “Our only motto
in life is DON’T LOSE!!” Is officially
an ESQ. After the Bar exam in two
months…hopes to figure out what he wants to do with the rest of his life!!
Lisa (Self-Proclaimed
Wife of the Year): Has been attempting to do “The
Miracle Morning” with about a 10% success rate.
Keeps trying new workouts seeking the pre-multiples pregnancy/early 30s
physique, unfortunately with only a 25% success rate. Yoga, Insanity Max, Body Pump and Spin would
surely all do the trick if any kind of consistency was maintained. Relived her late 20s and early 30s by being a
bridesmaid again this summer, where she enjoyed a bachelorette party in Vegas,
multiple showers and an amazing time with family and friends!! Being the family Landscaper…requested an
edger/weed eater for Christmas.
Clark (Age
6.5 – Gentle Giant & Mediator): Is now
wearing size 8 everything. After
analyzing how HUGE (said in Donald Trump accent) he is laying in his bed, we
are sure to need a California King mattress for him by the age of 10. Quote of the Year: Lisa, “Clark, you are ALWAYS, piddle farting
and taking your time. Please
HURRY-UP!” Clark, “But mom, I like
to.” Lisa, “Why?” Clark, “Because, it’s the BEST OF
LIFE!!” Out of the mouths of babes. This one sure enjoys soaking in the moment
and teaching the family to SLOW DOWN and enjoy the little things! Loves basketball, skiing, soccer, art class,
eating Grandma’s zucchini bread, and outsourcing the making of his bed to his
twin.
Kennedy (Age 6.5 + 1 minute –
Intelligent Princess): One of only three girls to attend football
camp this fall with 70+ boys! Not a fan,
in fact stated she was NEVER doing that again. Enjoyed the social aspect of soccer and mommy
coaching. Quote of the Year: While hiking a 5-mile cliff in San Diego,
would not allow Clark and mommy to take a rest on a bench when trying to beat
the 2 Gs with the simple words, “COME ON, DON’T YOU WANT TO BE
WINNERS!?!?!?” Best friend is the funny
boy in school. When asked why him, “Mom,
because he is SOOOOO funny, and I am funny!”
Should they marry, at least the Christmas Letter tradition will live on! For Christmas she asked for Lil G to quit
being so bossy.
Giancarlo (Age 5.5 – Brilliant Comedian) – Loves everything Star Wars. Enjoyed the family trip to Texas this summer
and still talks about living in Texas or Mexico when he gets bigger. Can be talked into anything as long as Legos
are involved in the negotiation.
According to siblings has become very bossy like daddy ever since
turning 5. Refer to Kennedy’s Christmas request
above. Even shakes his head just like
John when people are not on the same page as him. When making points to his siblings tends to
end every sentence with “BOOM!” and associated hand motion for dramatic effect. Began attending Montessori school this fall…educating
us on the first US flag, ensuring we understand what deciduous trees are and
inquiring about constellations?!?! Plans
to be an Investment Banker, Fireman, B-ball Player and Lawyer by 2nd
grade.
Side
bar…We have made an interesting observation regarding the parentals at the two
schools we love and entrust our children with each day. Sacred Heart = Quite preppy, well dressed on
their way to their financial, real estate or big farming job, OR wearing their
active gear (with ZERO intention of going to yoga – self included!), always
smiling, and rushing their children in in the morning. Montessori School…well…let’s just say it
seems to be a bit more on the hippy end of the spectrum. Ensuring their child is able to observe every
rock, leaf, rabbit and ant on the 15 step sidewalk into school. Dialoguing with the 1-year olds in a
vocabulary well beyond Lisa’s Masters level education. Generally speaking, eating home-made granola,
driving station wagons with canoes on top, and wearing those dreadful Jesus
sandals. Apparently, this makes John and
Lisa Preppy Hippies!!!
It would NOT be the Ortega
Christmas letter without some parental advice, so without further ado!!
#1 WWF Strategy – Tap in for your spouse. Give them a break. Men, PLEASE give your wife a night off from the
bath/bed time routine at least 2x per month to go out with the girls! Trust us when we say…she will come home
having partaken in a beverage or two and find you wildly attractive. You will be rewarded! Likewise, ladies it is in his God given genetic
make-up to go hunting. Just use his
credit card the weekends he is away!
#2 NFL Strategy – Increase your number of reps. By the time you get to the professional
parenting level you should have put in over the required 10,000 hours and be
ready for Prime Time on Mondays. We all
make parenting mistakes every day…but the more parenting we practice, the
better we become!
#3 NHL Strategy – Sometimes you just have to let the kids fight it
out, especially with boys.
#4 Baylor Bears Strategy – OFFENSE – Pre-planning is critical for raising three
or more children. With multiple
activities being thrown at them, there is little room or time for
meltdowns. Although, adding three or
more events/quarterbacks to the situation will increase the opportunity for meltdowns
and/or interceptions. Always prep the
night before to remain on offense!
#5 MLB Strategy – SNACKS! A
girlfriend recently told me she has never seen a mother of multiples without
snacks. This is a FACT!
#6 Dancing with the Stars Strategy – DATE NIGHT!
Make it happen people. It doesn’t
have to be a gala or ballroom dancing, but the two of you need to
re-connect. You know this one is
CRITICAL to the Ortega family functioning.
Fast food is NOT an acceptable option, UNLESS it is El Rey! Mmmmm!
#7 Survivor Strategy – It all began in January, the month John embarked on
an entire SEMESTER at Boston University.
I don’t mean to state the obvious...but we live in ND, and BU (the NE
BU), is located in Boston, Boston, MA.
It is one thing when you go to zone defense as a parental unit…but when
you are all of a sudden overrun by three crazies and there is no one to tap in
for you!?!?! It’s a whole new ballgame
or maybe we should call it surrendering. John, “Love, they can sense your fear!!!” Yup, there we were, embarking on 5 months
without daddy in the tundra of ND.
Somehow we survived. The tribal
councils were always a bit tough upon John’s arrival every few weeks. Luckily, the kids only voted mommy off of the
island once!
Thank
God for GRANDMA, great neighbors & wonderful friends who all stepped up in
so many ways! In all honesty, if you saw
the video clip of John’s first trip back after three long weeks away, you know
it was harder on him than us. That’s it
from the Crazies. For 2016, please make
sure to enjoy the little moments, take a leap of faith, laugh a whole heck of a
lot, keep letting your light shine, and for gosh sakes go on DATE
NIGHT!!!!!! From our perspective “The
night is still young, and we’re just gettin’ started!” Can’t wait to see what 2016 brings!! Peace out, we love you, miss you dearly, &
pray you & yours have the most amazing 2016, including a Capitalist voted
back into the white house! Love, Giancarlo ESQ., Lisa, Clark, Kennedy & Lil
G.
