2016 Christmas Letter ~ Make America Great Again!

Ortega Family Christmas Letter 2016

2016 – Also known as the year our life savings went to orthodontic appts. and an outrageously expensive healthcare plan.  We apologize for the delay in delivery this year.  We were waiting on a Christmas miracle for the Baylor football team!!  You all know we are football fans in this house and until this past week we were certainly not going to lead in with anything BU football related. 

HOWEVER, 2016 will now also go down as the year Baylor made the best decision EVER to hire Coach Matt Rhule.  The man Baylor Nation has been praying for to bring our football team back from the depths of extinction, whom has the #3 Defense in the country and just hired the Texas High School Football Coaches Association PRESIDENT!  BOOM, insert fist pump!  When asked “Why Baylor?”  His response, “We feel called to be here.  It is a World Class University and quite frankly, it gives me the opportunity to Coach Football and outwardly embrace my Faith!!!”  As they say on the best show on TV This is Us, “Nothing bad ever happens on Christmas Eve!”  For sake of this letter…we’ll consider it Christmas Eve for the Baylor Bears!!  By the way…have you seen those basketball rankings…yup, as of tonight, Baylor Women are ranked #3 in the COUNTRY and our Men are ranked #4!!!!  Sic ‘em’ Bears!  We have a feeling we are just going to get sic of winning!! (see what we did there?!?!?).  :-) 

Speaking of football…isn’t that trophy on the front of the Christmas card sweet!?!?  John ended his Powder Puff coaching career going 3-0!!  The UND law school girls beat the med-school girls again for the 3^rd year under Coach Ortega.  It was a nail biter, due to John being in Boston the final week of practices.  John now understands why his high school coach threw up before every game.

We are excited to announce that John will be completing his LL.M. in Banking and Finance Law from Boston University after finals next week!  YEAH!!!  Yes, we all thought Law School was supposed to be completed by now, but with Lisa’s encouragement, John decided an LL.M. was in the cards to ensure future teaching opportunities at the JD level, easier access to speaking engagements, etc.!  Thanks to his 2015 spring semester connections, we traveled to Doha, Qatar & Bali, Indonesia to witness dear friends getting married in October.  Don’t, do not even ask what is next for the Ortega family.  No, just don’t do it…but we will add that our realtor, neighbors and friends have noticed we have entered year 4 in the great state of North Dakota and are all chuckling under their breath saying, “We told you, you would end up staying here!”  Apparently, once you enter year 5, your brain is so frozen over you forget your original plan was to eventually leave.  In all seriousness, there are parts of us that are starting to turn.  In fact, leaving our home, neighborhood, friends, etc. just seems too overwhelming and sad to think about.  On that note…moving on.

As the school year began this fall, the children went off to 2^nd Grade and Kindergarten.  John took off for Boston University, traveling there weekly.  And Lisa spent the first two days praying the kids wouldn’t get salmonella poisoning due to the chicken bag leaking out all over in the fridge.  With budget cut backs we started buying Wal-Mart brand Ziploc bags…DON’T.  DO NOT!!!  It’s like Heinz ketchup or Charmin tissue paper…you just can’t buy the “generic” brand!!  Day three was spent finally realizing she should sanitize the fridge and consider getting a tattoo.  She is looking forward to crossing teaching off her bucket list this spring.  She has always had a passion for motivating and guiding college students and will be teaching Mgmt. 302, basically the intro to HR course at UND.  No doubt the students are going to enjoy her real-life examples of crazies from around the world in the oil patch!  Speaking of the oil patch, her largest client sold for $2.5B this fall.  DHRA is extremely proud of Yates Petroleum and having had the opportunity to work with their outstanding leadership team prepping their HR organization.

     

The Children Updates:

Clark – Still known as the gentle giant and helper to mom in daddy’s absence!  Is a 7-year old in a 10- year old’s body.  Won the softball throw this summer at a track meet.  We had three fathers ask us if we were sure that he was in the correct age division?!?!  His response, “My dad’s a lawyer…I can’t lie.”  Yes, this one is very matter of fact and a man of few words, but nails it every time he speaks!  Loves math and art, basketball, spending time with Grandma making sugar cookies or zucchini bread, and has learned a new skill, the life game of CHESS!  His intensity is just like his father’s.  He ordered the book, “How to beat my father at Chess.”  It won’t be long now ha, and loves beating the kids at school in 3-4 moves.  Currently wants to be a chess master, NBA and NFL player when he grows up.

Kennedy – At this orthodontic outflow rate, better have THE most gorgeous smile on the planet.  Her father believes, like insurance, it is all a scam.  Is reading 5^th grade chapter books in one or two evenings.  Has found her mother’s love of CHEERLEADING, constantly practicing her moves, jumps and stunts at home, so much so that her brothers now know the counts and yell HIT every time she jumps!!  She joined the Red River Valley All-Stars team and per John, mom is having a BLAST!  ***Insert eye roll here.  Was told at conferences that she needs to pay more attention to the teacher and listen.  Hmmm…funny how mom’s voice is never heard either.  Her response, “Well mommmmm, the other kids are wanting me to talk to them or I am just focused on what I am doing…” Umkay…  Currently wants to be a singer when she grows up.

Giancarlo – Told Lisa this week at drop off, “Mom, I’m not giving you a kiss either…I don’t have time for that!”  Is also known for pulling up to Starbucks and yelling, “We need an ALL AMERICANO!”  Which comes from hearing daddy order his daily caffeine intake of a TALL Americano.  Seriously though, this boy constantly has the family in stitches playing the baby of the family role even though he says he doesn’t want us to laugh at him.  Has been telling us all lately that we are “tinnerrupting” him from speaking.  But the thing is…he is ALWAYS talking.  So much so, he now has a new nick name…”motor mouth.”  Had a blast watching daddy’s girls at football practice and is now the first to jump in the car to pick up Kennedy from cheer practice so he can see “the girls” at the gym!  Yes, this one is all Grandpa Vilhauer!!  Plans on being a football player and investment banker when he grows up.

Even though lil G would never admit it…he looks up to his big brother sooooo much.  So much so that his birthday party included all of Clark’s best buddies!  It sure is fun watching the kids develop their friendships, playing on the same teams and cheering each other on!!  We pray they are best friends for LIFE!  Moving into everyone’s favorite part of the Christmas letter…the parental advice.  However, to begin the succession planning on the Ortega family Christmas letter…we are handing this segment over to Kennedy this year.  She typed the first piece and Lisa added the (parenthesis).

1.       Read to your children.  (If this happens to us 4 nights out of 7 we are doing good…Oops!)

2.      Make healthy food for your children.  (Lisa is a freak about putting spinach and onions in everything, to clean out the toxins.  Spinach smoothies are a staple around here!)

3.     Spend one on one time before bed.  (This has been hard, especially with John gone most evenings, but it seems to be the kids favorite part of the day…especially Clark, who has a hard time getting a word in with the other two always jib jabbing!)

4.      Saying “I love you” before bed.  (:-))

5.      Giving hugs and kisses before bed.  (:-))

Apparently, the bed time is very important!!  Our final advice (you already know what is coming here) DATE NIGHT!!!  Thank goodness we have one tonight.  With us both literally giving high fives and tagging in/out at the airport some weeks, it is IMPERATIVE the Ortega’s get a date night in.  Y’all…those kids are not going to be in your house forever.  Once they leave you are going to look up at your partner and wonder who the heck they are.  PLEASE make your spouse a priority.  We are always better parents when we have connected and had a date night.  At this point, the kids cheer when they find out its date night.  We are grateful to have an awesome group of sitters (mainly UND students) who have a great time with our kiddos!

In closing…we’ve had several friends recently lose grandparents or parents, and have had dear friends move out of this sweet community.  As we celebrated our 20-year HS reunions this summer (CRAZY!), and enter ages 40 and 39 respectively this coming year in our own lives, we are truly understanding the importance of faith, family (all 5 Vilhauer cousins above) and friends.  We had to put our sweet dog Floppy down of 12 years in October, which was made even worse because he was the last ty we had to our first child (his mother) Katy Ru.  We are still not sure where this Leap of Faith is taking us.  Honestly, not even trying to speculate on it at this point.  But rather, taking each day as it comes by loving on our children, going on date night, hosting a bible study and cherishing every moment with those we love and can LAUGH with.  We believe God has been trying to tell us something, to JUST BREATHE and stop the craziness!  We know he is working out his plan, which is and will be so much better than we could have imagined, ultimately combining our two worlds of Texas and the Dakotas.

May this next year bring you lower health insurance premiums, fewer blizzards, national championships, great Tex Mex, oil over $75 a barrel, and that great capitalist feeling of being sick of winning!!  Let’s ALL do what we can to Make America Great Again.

Lots of Love from the Crazies!  John, Lisa, Clark, Kennedy and Giancarlo

2015 Christmas ~ But first...let us take a selfie!!

If you are easily offended, possibly a hard left liberal and do not enjoy laughing…let this be your warning, we advise stopping here.  Lisa’s gloves are coming off this year ya’ll!!!!!!

    

How did we get here?!?!?!  Did you see the back of the Christmas/New Year’s Eve Card?!?!?  Holy Crap!  (As Clark says, “Mom, we don’t say that word.”)  Right, but ladies and gentlemen we have a GRADUATED Juris Doctor en la casa!!  Just goes to show, you are NEVER too old to follow your dreams, start a new adventure, or do an about-face with your career.

So, the whole graduation thing inevitably leads you to asking the question, “John’s finished.  Where are the Ortega crazies going to land?!?!?”  Unfortunately, the bill board from God has not exactly shown up with the checked box of, A. Move Home to Texas, B. Stay Near Family, 3. Go Totally Crazy and Move to San Francisco or New York.  However, we are continuing to keep the faith, and know God has got this.  Hello, God, are you there buddy?!?!?   The problem with two people who make all of their life decisions on what we “think” God wants us to do can be paralyzing when his signs, the wind, and the pit in your stomach are not giving you any guidance WHATSOEVER!?!?!?  In the midst of silence, we are called to remain faithful and complete this current Leap of Faith.  Hopefully, by March we will be able to fill you in the next Ortega adventure.  In the meantime, John is tempted to sell every material possession, achieving the minimalist/Japanese style home he has always dreamt of.  Lisa still wants to adopt 10 babies from around the world.  Who knows…you might just see us moving overseas with a mission’s organization.  No seriously…I wouldn’t put it past us right now!  ;-)

Grandma and Grandpa V. celebrated 40 years of surviving together on the farm in August!!  The kids adore time spent there, especially the occasional 1x1 week with the Grands.  Amazing how much quieter the house is with only 2 littles.  Unfortunately, we lost a dear Vilhauer family member this year.  This is someone with whom many important conversations were held; requests for first dates, pregnancy announcements, important cattle business and so much more.  Mom texted several family members a few weeks ago, “Due to too many telemarketing calls, 229-5544 will no longer be a working number.”  GASP!?!?!?!?  For those of you whom have also lost your childhood phone numbers, you know the deep pain this has caused the family.  Brother Lance has requested that in lieu of flowers, you place a quarter in a pay phone if you can find one.  Lisa has started a GoFundMe account to save 229-5544 by transferring our family member to a cell phone.  Loren, the family historian, has begun the task of documenting the cherished conversations.  Lastly, our childhood friends and family are in deep mourning because it was the last phone number we all had memorized.  Who are we going to collect call now?!?!?  Oh right, we have an attorney in the family now.  Ya’ll might want to memorize Ortega’s cell…JUST IN CASE of course!  :-/

The Ortega Crazies:

John (The Graduate):  Spent a semester at Boston University where the LLM program in Banking and Finance Law is #1 in the WORLD.  Met a bunch of amazing individuals from around the globe whom are leading banks, stock exchanges and so much more.  Rewarded his wife with a night in Fargo to see Bill Maher live!?!?!  She is still having nightmares.  John’s rationale, “We need to understand how the enemy thinks!” Coached back to back Malpractice Bowl Champions using the Baylor shotgun offense and shutting out the med school 26-0.  In the words of Nicki Minaj, “Our only motto in life is DON’T LOSE!!”  Is officially an ESQ.  After the Bar exam in two months…hopes to figure out what he wants to do with the rest of his life!!

   

Lisa (Self-Proclaimed Wife of the Year):  Has been attempting to do “The Miracle Morning” with about a 10% success rate.  Keeps trying new workouts seeking the pre-multiples pregnancy/early 30s physique, unfortunately with only a 25% success rate.  Yoga, Insanity Max, Body Pump and Spin would surely all do the trick if any kind of consistency was maintained.  Relived her late 20s and early 30s by being a bridesmaid again this summer, where she enjoyed a bachelorette party in Vegas, multiple showers and an amazing time with family and friends!!  Being the family Landscaper…requested an edger/weed eater for Christmas.

Clark (Age 6.5 – Gentle Giant & Mediator):  Is now wearing size 8 everything.  After analyzing how HUGE (said in Donald Trump accent) he is laying in his bed, we are sure to need a California King mattress for him by the age of 10.  Quote of the Year:  Lisa, “Clark, you are ALWAYS, piddle farting and taking your time.  Please HURRY-UP!”  Clark, “But mom, I like to.”  Lisa, “Why?”  Clark, “Because, it’s the BEST OF LIFE!!”  Out of the mouths of babes.  This one sure enjoys soaking in the moment and teaching the family to SLOW DOWN and enjoy the little things!  Loves basketball, skiing, soccer, art class, eating Grandma’s zucchini bread, and outsourcing the making of his bed to his twin.

         

Kennedy (Age 6.5 + 1 minute – Intelligent Princess):  One of only three girls to attend football camp this fall with 70+ boys!  Not a fan, in fact stated she was NEVER doing that again.  Enjoyed the social aspect of soccer and mommy coaching.  Quote of the Year:  While hiking a 5-mile cliff in San Diego, would not allow Clark and mommy to take a rest on a bench when trying to beat the 2 Gs with the simple words, “COME ON, DON’T YOU WANT TO BE WINNERS!?!?!?”  Best friend is the funny boy in school.  When asked why him, “Mom, because he is SOOOOO funny, and I am funny!”  Should they marry, at least the Christmas Letter tradition will live on!  For Christmas she asked for Lil G to quit being so bossy.

Giancarlo (Age 5.5 – Brilliant Comedian) – Loves everything Star Wars.  Enjoyed the family trip to Texas this summer and still talks about living in Texas or Mexico when he gets bigger.  Can be talked into anything as long as Legos are involved in the negotiation.  According to siblings has become very bossy like daddy ever since turning 5.  Refer to Kennedy’s Christmas request above.  Even shakes his head just like John when people are not on the same page as him.  When making points to his siblings tends to end every sentence with “BOOM!” and associated hand motion for dramatic effect.  Began attending Montessori school this fall…educating us on the first US flag, ensuring we understand what deciduous trees are and inquiring about constellations?!?!  Plans to be an Investment Banker, Fireman, B-ball Player and Lawyer by 2^nd grade.

Side bar…We have made an interesting observation regarding the parentals at the two schools we love and entrust our children with each day.  Sacred Heart = Quite preppy, well dressed on their way to their financial, real estate or big farming job, OR wearing their active gear (with ZERO intention of going to yoga – self included!), always smiling, and rushing their children in in the morning.  Montessori School…well…let’s just say it seems to be a bit more on the hippy end of the spectrum.  Ensuring their child is able to observe every rock, leaf, rabbit and ant on the 15 step sidewalk into school.  Dialoguing with the 1-year olds in a vocabulary well beyond Lisa’s Masters level education.  Generally speaking, eating home-made granola, driving station wagons with canoes on top, and wearing those dreadful Jesus sandals.  Apparently, this makes John and Lisa Preppy Hippies!!!          

 

It would NOT be the Ortega Christmas letter without some parental advice, so without further ado!!

#1 WWF Strategy – Tap in for your spouse.  Give them a break.  Men, PLEASE give your wife a night off from the bath/bed time routine at least 2x per month to go out with the girls!  Trust us when we say…she will come home having partaken in a beverage or two and find you wildly attractive.  You will be rewarded!  Likewise, ladies it is in his God given genetic make-up to go hunting.  Just use his credit card the weekends he is away!

#2 NFL Strategy – Increase your number of reps.  By the time you get to the professional parenting level you should have put in over the required 10,000 hours and be ready for Prime Time on Mondays.  We all make parenting mistakes every day…but the more parenting we practice, the better we become!

#3 NHL Strategy – Sometimes you just have to let the kids fight it out, especially with boys.

#4 Baylor Bears Strategy – OFFENSE – Pre-planning is critical for raising three or more children.  With multiple activities being thrown at them, there is little room or time for meltdowns.  Although, adding three or more events/quarterbacks to the situation will increase the opportunity for meltdowns and/or interceptions.  Always prep the night before to remain on offense!

#5 MLB Strategy – SNACKS!  A girlfriend recently told me she has never seen a mother of multiples without snacks.  This is a FACT! 

#6 Dancing with the Stars Strategy – DATE NIGHT!  Make it happen people.  It doesn’t have to be a gala or ballroom dancing, but the two of you need to re-connect.  You know this one is CRITICAL to the Ortega family functioning.  Fast food is NOT an acceptable option, UNLESS it is El Rey!  Mmmmm!

#7 Survivor Strategy – It all began in January, the month John embarked on an entire SEMESTER at Boston University.  I don’t mean to state the obvious...but we live in ND, and BU (the NE BU), is located in Boston, Boston, MA.  It is one thing when you go to zone defense as a parental unit…but when you are all of a sudden overrun by three crazies and there is no one to tap in for you!?!?!  It’s a whole new ballgame or maybe we should call it surrendering.  John, “Love, they can sense your fear!!!”  Yup, there we were, embarking on 5 months without daddy in the tundra of ND.  Somehow we survived.  The tribal councils were always a bit tough upon John’s arrival every few weeks.  Luckily, the kids only voted mommy off of the island once!

Thank God for GRANDMA, great neighbors & wonderful friends who all stepped up in so many ways!  In all honesty, if you saw the video clip of John’s first trip back after three long weeks away, you know it was harder on him than us.  That’s it from the Crazies.  For 2016, please make sure to enjoy the little moments, take a leap of faith, laugh a whole heck of a lot, keep letting your light shine, and for gosh sakes go on DATE NIGHT!!!!!!  From our perspective “The night is still young, and we’re just gettin’ started!”  Can’t wait to see what 2016 brings!!  Peace out, we love you, miss you dearly, & pray you & yours have the most amazing 2016, including a Capitalist voted back into the white house! Love, Giancarlo ESQ., Lisa, Clark, Kennedy & Lil G.